How To Write A Euology: An 8 Step Guide

How To Write A Euology: An 8 Step Guide

Preparing a eulogy during the planning of a funeral is one of the hardest things most of us will have to do. It takes a lot of time and with a million other things on our minds, it's not always easy to find a quiet moment to sit down and write. Even if you do find a few spare moments, the emotional stress of writing can be enough to stop you from preparing the eulogy. Here's a great video that explains in eight steps how to write a eulogy.

 

 

1. Talk to people

Talk to as many friends and relatives of your loved one as you can. Ask them what they loved most about the person. You might even find out something that you didn't know about your loved one and this can be a really rewarding experience. See if they have any stories to tell and find out their fondest memories. Perhaps they knew your loved one before you were born or before you met your loved one. Most importantly, try to take some notes so that you won't forget details when you start to write the eulogy.

 

2. Gather your thoughts

Gather your own thoughts, memories, and stories about the person who passed and jot them down. For some people, this might need to be done in a quiet space without others around. If you don't think this can be done at home, talk a walk to the park or sit in a library where silence is appreciated.

For others, gathering their thoughts and memories is best done in the presence of others. There is nothing wrong with this but you should do whatever makes you the most comfortable and relaxed.

 

3. Find a theme

Look through your notes for a common theme. Perhaps everyone touched on the person’s generosity, or they all had funny stories to share about what a prankster they were. If you can identify a common theme, consider writing the eulogy based on all the similar stories and thoughts of your loved one. This will help give the speech some nice flow.

 

4. Get basic information

Add to your notes some basic information about the deceased: age at death, career highlights, biggest achievements, hobbies, and so on. Remember, if you're not sure on any details, check with others who were closed to your loved one. It's always best to be accurate rather than almost sure.

As well, jot down the names of the deceased’s closest survivors. In times of stress, names we know well can go right out of our head.

 

5. Write a draft

Write a draft, making sure it has a clear beginning, middle, and end. For example, introduce the deceased’s zest for life, tell stories that illustrate it, and close with a favourite saying or appropriate quote. If you're comfortable adding a little humour then do so but of course always avoid saying anything negative. A eulogy is not the time to rehash old arguments or differences.

 

6. Practice it aloud

Read the draft out loud either by yourself in front of the mirror or with someone listening. The length of the eulogy will vary depending on the religious or non-religious protocol of the funeral, so if you're not sure how long it should be then it is always a good idea to check with someone central to the planning of the funeral.

 

7. Revise

Make any changes you think are necessary, then ask someone close to the deceased to check your remarks for errors. Having another pair of eyes check over what you have written will save you and the audience from embarrassment as well as giving you peace of mind that everything is correct.

 

8. Carry a copy

Prepare to give the eulogy from memory, but bring a copy of it with print big enough for you to read comfortably — or for someone else to read in case you are too emotional to do so. Nobody expects you to remember everything by heart so don't be shy about making it easy enough for you to read and find sections of the speech with just a glance.

Elements of this post first appeared on Howcast.

 

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I am truly grateful for the help and support from Lady Anne Funerals. They made everything clear and took away all the uncertainties about what needed to be done.

A special thanks to Yvonne, who was the celebrant for our ceremony. The respect and honour she showed in delivering the eulogy were fantastic. Many attendees commented on how well she spoke about my wife Glenda, as if she had known her personally.

Yvonne, thank you. You were exactly the person we needed during this difficult time in my life.
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Hi Yvonne, Just a personal note from me to say how grateful we all were for the gentle, magnificent way, you helped Janie make her mother’s funeral such an authentic, warm, loving, and memorable celebration.

Especially, your work has helped create a wonderful “first impression” for our grandchildren. You’ve gifted them the tools to actually celebrate a life, that I’m sure will help them cope with the inevitable sadnesses of living.

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Thank you again Yvonne.
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Karen and her staff treated us with the utmost respect we could not have been in better hands during this difficult time. My mum had organised her funeral with a prepaid funeral plan which she had purchased from Karen almost ten years ago this also made this upsetting time much easier to deal with and she got all the things that she wished for.
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The Lady Anne Funerals team went above and beyond what I anticipated. Navigating funeral arrangements for the first time can feel overwhelming, especially amidst grief. Karen and her team were outstanding, managing essential tasks and collaborating with my family to create a meaningful celebration of life that truly honoured my mother's memory. Although you hope to never require their services, if you do, I wholeheartedly endorse reaching out to Lady Anne Funerals.
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“I just wanted to send you our sincerest thanks for everything you and your incredible team did for us in making the most perfect day, celebration and farewell of our beautiful Harper.

I have given a lot of thought to your business and the industry and I think it is perhaps the most important business for families to get it right when it comes to planning a funeral which may be sudden or may be a long time in the making. Either way, when one is faced with the unfortunate situation of needing to arrange a funeral, only then do you realise the importance of getting it right.

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From our very first conversation we could sense your genuine care to our situation and your attention to detail was obvious - this was very different to the previous conversations we had with others we had been referred to. Those other companies wanted to commence meetings with the paperwork side of things upfront which is a very confronting thing to do just days after losing your loved one - and when one of the others that I am referencing couldn’t even refernece our daughters name as our meeting started - we were horrified of how poor the service of care could be.

This is where you and your team shine. After feeling very lost in our search to secure the perfect funeral director to create the perfect day, my wife all of a sudden recalled you standing out the front of your office each morning watering the surrounding gardens to ensure a beautiful front of house. Well, I can assure you, it is not just the front of house that is beautiful - its the entire package that is beautiful.

Your manner, your direction and your expertise is evident from the get go. Nothing is too hard for you or your amazing team. The personal care made us feel like we were the only funeral you were working with at the time, and that’s exactly how it should be.

The finer detail, such as driving past our house so our daughter could go past our house one last time, then leaving the most beautiful flowers on our doorstep, to bumping into us at the Church because you were just doing your own research to make sure the day was seamless. This combined with your recommendations from every aspect as everything was very foreign to us, you were able to guide us to achieve the most beautiful farewell.

The day itself was simply perfect. Not once did we have a concern. The car was shining, your team dressed beautifully, cold water provided for us, directions for our guests, directions for us. Everyone commented on how amazing the day was and how incredibly your team were. Seamless is the only word I can use. It doesn’t stop here.

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This is something we never want to go through again but there will be so many others, that like us, have no idea where to start to look for the right funeral director for their own special day. All I can say is that I hope that they appoint Lady Anne Funerals. We learnt a lot quickly and it is again a business many do not ever consider needing but without question one of the most important businesses to select the right person and the right team.

I welcome any of your future potential clients to contact me if they wish to discuss our experience with the amazing Lady Anne team. We thank you for giving our beautiful baby the most incredible farewell that was exactly how we imagined it, you just made it happen.”

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I would like to thank you and the whole team at Lady Anne Funerals for making mums funeral the perfect goodbye. The funeral was everything and so much more than mum wanted. Nothing seemed to be too hard and that made my time far simpler than i had expected. 
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My family and friends were very happy with every aspect of the preparation and celebration of the end of my wife. When I knew the end was near I spoke to Yvonne who explained to me what would happen and this was done with delicacy and tact. When the end came Yvonne came to our house and explained every aspect of what would happen. We explained what we wanted for Margaret's farewell and nothing was too much trouble for Yvonne to explain or discuss. On the day of the funeral everything went like clockwork and all my relatives and friends told me how impressed they were. So thank you to Yvonne for being celebrant and MC at the farewell and thank you to all the Lady Anne team. If I were asked to score the service my family received  it would be ten out of ten.
Dick Hodge

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It was a difficult day and it would have been worse without your synchronised, seamless and consistent presence as well as attention to detail.

We value your candour as the people you are and the very sensitive manner in which you conducted the service.

Thanking you from the bottom of our hearts,

The Pastore Family

I want to send a heartfelt 'thank you’ to you both, and your team, for your compassion and your assistance in taking meticulous care of Dad and arranging such a beautiful end of life service for him. Within a matter of only a few days, which included a weekend, you were able to organise the perfect service tailored to our requests.

Not only did you organise the attendance of the RSL representative, you also went to considerable trouble to download the music and videos we had chosen, in a format that could be utilised in the service.We greatly appreciated your guidance too with organising the order of service and arranging a printed copy of the tributes for one of our friends who was deaf.

Thank you Yvonne for doing a magnificent job as the celebrant. We greatly appreciated you reading our tributes to Maurie on the family’s behalf. Thank you too for reading the poem, 'The Dash’ so beautifully.

It was comforting for our family and friends to come together in a more intimate setting, which your chapel provides. The light refreshments, which followed the service, were ideal, allowing the family to stay on and share their memories.

Dad quite often had high expectations of the way things should be done, bless him, so I was particularly mindful of doing him proud with this last expression of our love for him and a tribute to his long and meaningful life. We achieved this, with your help, and I know he would have been deeply touched and honoured. Thank you for you for all you did.

Annie

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